5 days post mastectomy.

What a bitch! It’s about 1:30am and I’m creeping to the kitchen for some Percs and Valiums. What an ordeal it was in the hospital, and I had to stay an extra day. I got home yesterday. The pain control has been the worst by far and they had me on 5mg of Dilaudid via IV PER HOUR, yes, PER HOUR and that more or less turned me into a frantic demon and not a sleepy little girl. My freakin’ back is killing me due to sleeping on three pillows. I am going to have to drastically change my “prep” list to something more realistic for all of you brave souls. There was a lot of things I just didn’t need. My left side hurts significantly more than the rest of my body and the top of my chest has the strangest itchy/numb feeling. I’ve never felt anything like it. Pain is weakness leaving the body. If I hear that from one more of those gym rats, I’m going to scream. Pain is more like… A reminder that I’m still alive. My boobs don’t look half as terrible as I thought they would. Ill post some photos for your enjoyment soon. I guess on my left side, there was some thin skin so they had to remove a couple little pieces. No biggie. My nipples look like someone took a flat iron to them, but they’re in tact for now, well, as much as I can see. I got a visiting nurse today, but at $30 a day co-pay, she better just teach me what to do today and tomorrow and then hit the road! My drains are, well, draining. It’s not nearly as gross as I expected. I’m getting like 30mL out per side a couple times per day right now. One side is orangey and the other side is a bit more red. They said that’s fine. My medication regiment is really whats’s worrying me. OxyContin, oxycodone (Perc 30’s), Valium, Gabapentin, Keflex, and I’m sure I’m forgetting some. Anyways, it’s a lot. This is how drug addicts are created. Good thing I’m being super cautious. I am trying to adequately treat my pain, without being a hero, and without over medicating myself just for fun. My friend E washed my hair today and I also took a half-assed bath by sitting in a few inches of water and tucking all my drains, rolled up into my wife-beater tank top. (Hope that doesn’t offend you people.) anyways, just wanted to let you all know I’m alive.
My poor mother has had in the worst of all. Please make sure that if you’re going to go through with this that you have one or more tough people around who can keep it together and who are physically able to sleep in a crappy hospital recliner/chair for two nights in a row or more! My poor mom broke the arm off her glasses on Friday after the operation, rear ended a car on the way home to feed the cats on Saturday, but thankfully was given a “god bless you” and the guy took off- I believe he had no insurance, but good thing nonetheless, and finally we were eating some cavatelli, meatballs, and Millete’s bread for dinner and chipped the inner bottom corner of her front tooth off. she began screaming and yelling obscenities, but the worst and most painful part for me was when she emerged from the bathroom exclaiming, “I look like a pumpkin!”. I swear I never had such a painful laugh in my life, I think my expanders shot into my ribs and I may have popped a stitch or something. Anyways, I am now calling her Jackie for short, instead of Jack-o-lantern. I know, I’m a bitch. But she is getting it fixed tomorrow. Thank god she didn’t have to work this week. She is one of those “everything happens for a reason” people, so ya never know I guess! I got a lot of things so far, including tangerines from cousin Angie from FL, tulips from my podiatrist/magician cousin H, and the best delicious cookies- Cheryl’s- from my cousin Katie. The buttercream triple chocolate ones are seriously working better than the Percocet’s. I am absolutely ordering more of those online tomorrow. I will write more tomorrow when I’m a bit more coherent. Thanks!

Here’s a pic of me in the hospital. I look a little happy at least!